A merchant sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.
The distributor, noting that the previous bill hadn’t been paid, told the collections manager to check it. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”
The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”
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A merchant teaches his son the secrets of the trade: “When you charge a customer $100, and he pays you by mistake $200, you have an ethical dilemma — should you tell your partner?”
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There were two grocers, Smith and Jones, in the same street. Smith had a sign in his window, “Avocados, 20 pence a pound”. A woman goes in and asks for some. “Sorry love”, said Smith, “I haven’t got any in just now; come back on Wednesday”.
So she goes on up the street to Jones. But his avocados are 2 pounds-fifty a pound! But at least he has them in stock.
“That’s a bit steep isn’t it? Smith’s are only 20 pence a pound”.
“Yeah”, says Jones, “and when I haven’t got any in stock, mine also are only 20 pence a pound!”
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How many merchants does it take to change a light bulb?
“The light bulb that I sold you doesn’t work? You must be using a non-standard socket.”
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A woman walks into the butcher shop just before closing. She says, “Thank Heavens I’ve made it in time! Have you any turkey?” The butcher opens his fridge and takes out his only turkey, and plops it onto the scale. It weighs 4 1/2 pounds.
“Ah, haven’t you anything bigger?” the woman inquires. The butcher returns the turkey to the fridge, takes it out again, and plops it onto the scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb on the turkey. The scale shows 7 1/4 pounds.
“Marvelous!” says the woman. “I’ll have both of them please.”
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Shopkeeper Smith was alarmed when a new business, much like his own, opened in the storefront to the left of him. A huge sign was installed, reading BEST DEALS.
Mr. Smith was troubled a second time when another competitor leased the building on his right, and erected a much larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.
At this point Smith was really depressed, however, he came up with an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop…it read MAIN ENTRANCE.
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