Teacher : Correct the sentence,
“A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
Student : “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field”
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first
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A Small Boy Took A Knife
And Wrote His Girlfriend’s Name 0n His Hand..
After A Minute He Started Crying Loudly..
Why ???
.
.
.
Paining ???
.
.
.
No !!
.
.
.
Then ???
.
.
.
Spelling Mistake !!!
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A Simple fact:
Boys Can Never B
Satisfied With
3 Things In Life:
-Mobile
-Bike
-Girlfriend
Because;
There Is Always
A Better Model
Available In Future
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A customer ordered a cup of coffee in a restaurant! The waiter served the coffee. The customer found a fly in the coffee. He called the waiter.
Customer: How do I drink this coffee!
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink a coffee?
Customer: Waiter, see, there is a fly in my coffee.
Waiter: Oh yes sir, you are right! There is a fly in your coffee.
Customer: Waiter, I said, there is a fly in MMY coffee (He stressed the word MY)
Waiter: Oh don’t worry sir, the fly won’t drink much!
Customer: Waiter, it is swimming in my coffee.
Waiter: Sir, do you want me to get a lifeguard for the fly sir?
(Annoyed) Customer: the fly dead, it’s irritating!
Waiter: I guess, it doesn’t know how to swim properly.
Customer: How do I drink this coffee?
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink? I will teach you!
He drank the coffee! And said, this is how you should drink a coffee.
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Boy: Hey !
.
Girl: Hi ! What u doing ?
.
Boy: Texting the most beautiful girl in
the world..
Girl: Aww How cute !
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: Ya ! But She is not replying, so m
texting U !!
.
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Our Phones: Wireless
Cooking: Fireless
Cars: Keyless
Food: Fatlewss
Tyres: Tubeless
Dress: Sleeveless
Youth: Jobless
Leaders: Shameless
Relationships: Meaningless
Attitude: Careless
Feelings: Heartless
Education: Valueless!
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Husband throwing knives on wifes picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her
“Hi,wat ru doin?”
His honest reply,”MISSING U”
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God thought that since he couldn’t b everywhere he made a mother.
Then devil thought that he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
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Heights of :-
1) Fashion?
Lungi with a zip.
2) Laziness?
Asking lift for morning walk.
3) Craziness?
Get blank paper xerox.
4) Hope?
A 99 yr. Old woman going for 295/-recharge to get lifetime incoming.
5) Stupidity?
Looking through key hole of a glass door.
6) Suicide attempt?
A dwarf jumps from the footpath on the road.
7) Height of free time?
You are reading the whole msg
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Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab ?
Pappu: Amritsar.
Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.
Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.
Teacher: Yes, go ahead.
Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ?
Teacher: No.
Pappu: Do you know Preeto ?
Teacher: No.
Pappu: Do you know Banto?
Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ?
Pappu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.
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Things in Boys room Before marriage:
Perfumes
Love letters
Laptops
Cards
Nokia Lumia
.
And After marriage:
Pain killers
Loan papers
Unpaid bills
Huggies
Nokia 1100
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A Journalist To A Doctor Of A Mental Hospital:
“How Do You Determine Whether To Admit A Patient Or Not?”
Doctor: “Well, We First Fill A Bathtub With Water Till The Top. Then Give A Teaspoon,
A Glass & A Bucket To The Patient & Ask Him / Her To Empty The Bathtub.”
Journalist: “Obviously A Normal Person Would Use A Bucket Because It’s Bigger!”
Doctor: “No You Stupid, A Normal Person Would Pull The Drain Plug!
Admit This Idiot In Ward No. 39
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“ Women wont play football not coz they aren’t gud at
it..
But coz its against their ego to b dressed up exactly like
10 other women in front of 10,000 people..
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A Journalist To A Doctor Of A Mental Hospital:
“How Do You Determine Whether To Admit A Patient Or Not?”
Doctor: “Well, We First Fill A Bathtub With Water Till The Top. Then Give A Teaspoon,
A Glass & A Bucket To The Patient & Ask Him / Her To Empty The Bathtub.”
Journalist: “Obviously A Normal Person Would Use A Bucket Because It’s Bigger!”
Doctor: “No You Stupid, A Normal Person Would Pull The Drain Plug!
Admit This Idiot In Ward No. 39
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“ Women wont play football not coz they aren’t gud at
it..
But coz its against their ego to b dressed up exactly like
10 other women in front of 10,000 people..
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Only Two Types Of Communications Are Fastest In The World…
.
.
.
E-Mail To Email
&
Female To Female………
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I am Looking for a Bank
which can perform Two things for me.
Give me a Loan,
and
then Leave me Alone……….
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A pizza and an apple were thrown down from the 15th floor.
Which will reach down first?
.
.
Ans:The Pizza,as it’s fast food!
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A Software Engg was smoking
Girl: Didn’t u see the warning ?
Smoking is injurious to health.
Engineer: We bother only about errors & not warnings
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