Funny Quotes By Politicians

“The Internet is a gateway to get on the net.” – Bob Dole

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” – Dan Quayle

“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers We are the president.” – Hillary Clinton

1996 Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”

1991 Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: “He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.”

Shaquille O’Neal, on his lack of championships: “I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.”

We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?” – Lee Iacocca

“If we don’t succeed we run the risk of failure.” – Dan Quayle

“The world is more like it is now then it ever has before.” – Dwight Eisenhower

“You read what Disraeli had to say. I don’t remember what he said. He said something. He’s no longer with us.” – Bob Dole

“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” – Joe Theismann

“You know, Tim, that’s one of the things that will be debated.” –New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, after being asked by NBC’s Tim Russert why he didn’t use buses to evacuate residents in accordance with the city’s evacuation plan

“African-Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do.” – President Clinton on Black Entertainment Television, November 2, 1994

“I am filled with humidity” – Speaker Gib Lewis

“I have orders to be awakened at an time in the case of a national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.” – Ronald Regan

“We are ready for any unforseen event that may or may not occur.” – Al Gore

“What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?” – Marion Barry

“We don’t want to open a box of Pandoras.” – Gov. Bruce King

“Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.” – Sen. Mary Anne Tebedo

“Shels a wonderfun, wonderful person, and we’re looking to a happy and wonderful night… uh, life.” – Sen. Ted Kennedy, about his then-fiancee

“I don’t know anyone here that’s been killed by a handgun.” – Rep. Avery Alexander

“What’s a man got to do to get in the top fifty?” – President Bill Clinton, on a survey ranking the Lewinsky scandal as the 53rd most significant story of the century.