Birds Attacking
Birds attacking a so called human flying machine..
Birds attacking a so called human flying machine..
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow, these seats are big!”
The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.” When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands.
He exclaimed, “Wow these mugs are big!” The bartender replied, “Everything is big in Texas.”
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, “Second door to the right.”
The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”
Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes.
Morris shouted across the garage, “Hey DeBakey! Is that you ? Come on over here a minute.”
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris the mechanic was working on the car.
Morris straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively,
“So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at this here work. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ’em, put in new parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like a kitten.”
So how come you get da big bucks, when you an’ me is doing basically da same work ?”
Dr. DeBakey leaned over and whispered to Morris the loudmouth mechanic.
“Try doing it with the engine running.”
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?” “I don’t know,” responded the other. “I’ll ask him.”
So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. “Why are we digging in the hot sun and you’re standing in the shade?” “Intelligence,” the boss said. “What do you mean, ?intelligence’?”
The boss said, “Well, I’ll show you. I’ll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can.” The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss’ hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, “That’s intelligence!”
The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, “What did he say?” “He said we are down here because of intelligence.” “What’s intelligence?” said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, “Take your shovel and hit my hand.”
The Pope was getting into his limo one night when he turned to the limo driver and said, “Before I die, I would love to drive this beautiful limo just once.”
“Well, here,” the limo driver says, “Take the wheel, Your Holiness”
Further down the road, the limo is stopped by a policeman who looks in the window, goes back to his squad car, calls dispatch and says, “I just pulled over someone real important and I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, who is it?” his dispatcher says, “The mayor? The governor? The president?”
“I don’t know,” the officer responds, “but the Pope’s his chauffeur”
One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into an iceberg? They just made a movie about it.” The teacher answered quickly, “That would be the Titanic.” St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and decided to make the question a little harder, “How many people died on the ship?” Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, “About 1,500.” “That’s right! You may enter.”
St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. “Name them.”
A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. “Let’s see yer fishin’ license, Boy!” the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. “Well, son,” said the Game Warden, “you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don’t have to run from me if you have a valid license!” “Yes, sir,” replied the young guy, “but my friend back there, well, he don’t have one.”
First of all, unlike my Funny Fantasy III, there is an edited photo in this one that doesn’t belong to me, but to the amazingly talented Daina , so please, instead of c PLEASE READ THE FULL DESCRIPTION BEFORE WATCHING. ^_^
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The next best hit, this is my ebay music video. I spent a lot of time on this one and it should show in my work. It’s a pretty funny video. There are bloopers at the end. The hats are our thing, we are the G-UNI SUBSCRIBE! Awempty@gmail.com
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