Is an old hundred dollar bill better than a new one?
No, I’d rather have $100 bill than a new $1 bill.
No sooner spoken than broken. What is it?
Silence or a promise.
Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
Every month has at least 28 days.
Take off my skin — I won’t cry, but you will! What am I?
An onion.
The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?
A towel.
Read the rest of this entry »
What has to be broken before it can be used?
An egg.
What does no man want, yet no man wants to lose?
Work – Employment
How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?
Only one, the last one.
What is everything to someone, and nothing to everyone else?
Your mind.
Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup, even a river can’t fill it up. What is it?
A kitchen strainer.
Four men sat down to play,
They played all night ’till break of day,
They played for gold and not for fun
With separate scores for everyone.
When they came to square accounts,
They all had made quite fair amounts.
Can you the pardox explain,
If no one lost, how could all gain?
They were not playing against each other.
—————-
In a tunnel of darkness lies a beast of iron. It can only attack when pulled back.
What is it?
A bullet in a revolver
—————-
What can be swallowed, but can also swallow you?
Pride
—————-
What’s better than the best thing and worse than the worst thing?
Literally, the word NOTHING
—————-
What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and Dinner
—————–
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
Beacause they have scales!
—————–
What kind of nut has no shell?
A doughnut.
—————–
When young, I am sweet in the sun.
When middle-aged, I make you gay.
When old, I am valued more than ever. What am I?
Wine
—————–
If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it?
A secret.
—————–
The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?
Darkness
—————–
What book was once owned by only the wealthy, but now everyone can have it?
You can’t buy it in a bookstore or take it from a library.
A telephone book.
—————–
What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?
A chalkboard
—————–
What happened in the middle of the twentieth century that will not happen again for 4,000 years?
The year 1961 can be read upside down and that won’t happen again until 6009!
—————-
What has no beginning, end, or middle?
A doughnut.
—————-
What stays in bed most of the day and sometimes go to the bank?
A stream.
—————-
Why do chickens lay eggs?
If they drop them, they break.
—————-
Why has no one ever spotted a leopard in Africa?
Because leopards are already born with spots.
—————-
Imagine you are in a sinking rowboat surrounded by sharks. How would you survive?
Quit imagining!
—————-
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Dinosaurs laid eggs long before there were chickens.
—————
While on my way to St. Ives
I saw a man with 7 wives
Each wife had 7 sacks
Each sack had 7 cats
Each cat had 7 kittens
Kitten, cats, sacks, wives
How many were going to St. Ives?
Just one, me.
—————
The maker doesn’t want it.
The buyer doesn’t use it.
And the user doesn’t see it.
What is it?
A coffin.
—————
Funny Comedy cool video. Watch It n pls comment it.
Happy birthday, you’re not getting old,
Stay in the game, it’s not time to fold.
Wrinkles and grey hair, are just a new look,
Countless experiences, you should write in a book.
A birthday is seldom, a serious occasion,
Try not to take it, like the d-day invasion.
Laughter and jokes are within sight,
Stock up on both, all through the night.
by Martin Dejnicki
The eBay Song. Originated from Backstreet Boys’ I Want It That Way. A cool parody song about eBay and it’s usage in our lives.
Baby eating dinner and making funny f… Baby eating dinner and making funny faces
Manager: Sorry, but i can’t give u a job. I don’t need much help.
Job Applicant: That’s all right. In fact I’m just the right person in
this case. You see, I won’t be of much help anyway!!
Hey you electrical engineers,apply the Kirchoff law to calculate the parameters of power system lines.
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was
1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
“I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing
the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent
the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I
continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a
fortune of $1.37.”
“And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked.
“Heavens, no!” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us
two million dollars.”
Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.
Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.
Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
Thats the usefulness of internet.The power of www
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth,
Fond of doctors, little health.
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.”
A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world.
The doctor remarked, “Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery, so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world.”
