Erickson and Microsoft #2
Keyboard Missing
Sometimes windows can be really stupid, the keyword is not detected, and it says press F2 to continue.
Go To Bed
Time for you to go get some sleep.
A Real Cat and computer mouse
A real cat starring at computer mouse.
Erickson and Microsoft
Something like this would happen if microsoft and erickon collaborate to make mobile phones.
Bill Gates
Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house?
A. He uses “windows”.
Who is the BEST – Infosys, Wipro or TCS?
One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk.
“Why don’t we prove who is the best among ourselves?”
Why not, said the other two.
The Infosian said “Let’s have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm”.
Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still.
As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures… No good, the monkey stayed put…
Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey’s ear, and it burst out laughing at him..
The other two were astonished. So the Wipro guy said “OK, let’s take another test. Let’s make this monkey cry!!”
Released From Marriage / Jail
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.She went downstairs looking for him. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw tears rolling from his eyes as he sipped his coffee.
“What’s the matter with you, my dear? Why are you down here at this time of the night?” she asked.
“Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?” he asked.
“Yes, I do,” she replied.
“Do you remember when your father caught us while dating?”
“Yes, I do remember,” she replied.
“Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?”
“Yes, I do,” she said, getting a little teary- eyed herself at his fond recollection.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, “You know… I would have been released today.”
The Beauty of Maths
The Beauty of Maths
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn’t it?
And finally, take a look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321
Extracts from HER & HIS diaries
HER DIARY
I asked him what was wrong – he said,
“Nothing.”
I asked him if it was my fault that he was
upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not
to worry.
On the way home, I told him that I loved
him, but he simply smiled and kept driving.
I can’t explain his behaviour; I don’t
know why he didn’t say, “I love you too.”
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost
him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me
anymore.
He just sat there and watched TV; he
seemed distant and absent.
Finally, I decided to go to bed. About
10 minutes later he came to bed.
I decided that I could not take it
anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation
but he had fallen asleep.
I started crying and cried until I fell asleep.
I do not know what to do. I’m almost sure that his
thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY
Today India lost the cricket match again.
DAMN IT
Funny Sport Quotes
These are actual sports quotes said by various people throughout the world.
Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, “Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.”
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:”I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”
Whale Swallowed
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.
Funny Girl Reply
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
Think And Answer
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
If it’s Zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be Twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes?
Wouldn’t it be easier to just hire taller dancers?
Why do scientists call it “re”search when looking for something new?
Why is it called a building when it is already built?
If pro is the opposite of con, then is progress the opposite of congress?
Prof. Bihari
This is a true incident which happened in a college. A new lecturer (also a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class.
The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he doesn’t know how to put it in English. He went near the guy. Shouted “follow me” .The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted “Don’t follow me” and went inside the class……….
Prof. Bihari
#Inside the Class :
*Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
*Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Seen on a bulletin board
Sucess is relative.
More the success, more the relatives
Sign at a barber’s saloon in juhu, Bombay:
We need your heads to run our business
Notice in the toilet of Nariman Point office, Bombay:
This urinal is out of order – please use the floor below
Funny English
“Hey, u guys, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside”
“Donot smoke and spoil the botany of ur body”
” Open the windows, open the windows, let the climate come in ”
” Why are you naat filupping the blanks ? ”
Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter
continue her studies or get her married :
” Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu marry
her, then marry her .”
Prof to students hanging around the corridors during exams :
” Do not revolve in the corridors in front of the examinations ”
Chemistry Of Women and Men
Two new additions to the periodic table of elements:
___________________________________________________
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don’t even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may
freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly.
Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong
affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when
left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly
green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of
wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Hell v/s Heaven
HEAVEN IS WHEN YOU HAVE :
an american salary
a british home
a chinese food
a german car
an indian wife
HELL IS WHEN YOU HAVE :
an american wife
a british food
a chinese car
a german home
an indian salary