Funny Junk

Some Funny Liners To Laugh!!

Living on Earth may be expensive,but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.

God made relatives…Thank God we can choose our friends

Love is photogenic…It needs darkness to develop

A good discussion is like a miniskirt…Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject!

Children in backseats cause accidents…Accidents in backseats cause children !

A drunk was hauled into court.”Mister,” the judge began, you’ve been brought herefor drinking.”
“Great,” the drunk exclaimed. “When do we get started?”

Job Related Jokes

What the new Job-Lingo really means!

“Join our Fast-Paced Company”:
We have no time to train you.

“Casual Work Atmosphere”:
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

“Must be Deadline Oriented”:
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

“Some Overtime Required”:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

Read the rest of this entry »

Beware of Female Programmers

Now that I’ve lived to see this day,
These are the things I must but say.

Die a bachelor, if your options are few,
Never ever love a female programmer,
they’ll make a program out of you.

Don’t laugh it away, mine has been an object lesson,
They find syntax errors, even in a romantic expression.

Alas! They search logic in love, where there is none,
Your heart may skip a beat and they just hit return.

You are in for trouble if you persist,
You’ll just be a pointer in her long linked list.

Read the rest of this entry »

Cool tongue twister

Make sure you get every single word right!

Read the following passage and then scroll down for
further instructions at the end. Read loudly to yourself now read:-

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is fool cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word in each line then you will understand what is funny in this.

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, DrunkenBoys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
Joe

Dormitory Rules

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?”

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, “How much for a season pass?”