Superior Females
Q. What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A. A rumour.
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Q. What should you give a man who has everything?
A. woman to show him how to work it.
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Q. What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A. A rumour.
___________________________
Q. What should you give a man who has everything?
A. woman to show him how to work it.
___________________________
Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
“Keep quiet, the principal has passed away”
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A teacher scolded little Johny and said
“why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?”
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Chemistry HOD comes and tells us…
“My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter”
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It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said ” why is fan not oning” (ing form of on)
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1. Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, so I’d be in ur hands all day. Husband: I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I cud have a new one everyday.
2. Sincere Apology: If u dont like any of my SMS n dont like 2 read, then plz dont hesitate, feel free to….. throw ur mobile!!
3. I’ve written nice poem 4 you. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.. You should Know What you R.. & Once you Know What you R.. Mental Hospital is not So Far..
4. Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can live without a brain… Kindly tell them ur age…
5.God thought that since he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn’t b everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
yo mamas so fat, she uses the freeway as a slip and slide.
You should be someone’s wife.
Is your name Gillette? …coz you’re the best a man can get.
I think I can die happy now, coz I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.
Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine
You’ve made me so nervous that I’ve totally forgotten my standard pick-up line.
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem.
The project manager said: “Let’s catch a cab and in ten minutes we’ll reach our destination.”
The computer programmer said: “We have here the driver’s guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive.”
The computer operator said: “First of all, let’s turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem.”
Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: “Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again.”
One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside.He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared.
“I’ll grant you your fondest wish,” the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job — a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try.”
“Poof!” said the genie.
“You’re a housewife.”
There once was a boy who had to do his English exam. He and his mate went into their English room and sat down in front of their papers. The boy (we’ll call him Patrick) read through the questions as soon as the test started. Finding all of them hard, he decided to use a strategy his uncle had taught him, which was to write ‘c’ for every answer and you’d get one out of four right. So Patrick wrote ‘c’ all the way down the page, which took him quite a while. At the end of the test he left the room feeling rather happy, and grinnedat his mate.
“You did well in the test, then?” His mate asked him.
” ‘Course, it was a piece of cake.” He replied.
His friend shrugged and answered, “Not for me. I suck at writing essays.”
A little old lady was driving along the road (relatively quickly) when a police car pulled her over. The passenger of the police car got out and walked over to her window, to tell her she was driving too fast.
“Excuse me, Ma’am,” he said, “but you’re over the speed limit. Can I see yourdrivers’ licence?”
“Don’t have one.” She replied.
“I see…well, I’ll have to take you down to the police station then.”
“Sorry,” she apologized, “but I’ve got a body in the boot and five bags of crack that needs delivering. I really don’t have much time.”Amazed and slightly worried, the officer called on his senior to investigate,
before sitting in front of the wheel in case the old lady decided to drive off suddenly. The officer walked toward the old lady to ask the problem.
“Excuse me, Ma’am,” she said, “but my partner said you don’t have a license, have a body in the back and five bags of crack you need to deliver. Mind if I check it out?”
“Not at all, Miss.” The little old lady replied. After investigating the entire car,the officer came up empty handed and walked to the front.
“I can’t find any body, or any drugs. Can I see your license?”
“Sure,” said the old lady, offering her license. “And I bet your partner thought I was speeding, too.”
A song from your lips is an aria from heaven.
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Ask a woman for the time. “10:30? So today is May 31,2008, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you.”
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!
yo mamma is so ugly she looked like this kid named donald
your momma is so fat she thought she was a punkin
Ques Whats Difference Between A Fly And A Mosquito?
Ans A Mousketo can fly BUT A Fly can’t Mosquito
How many blonde jokes are there?
None, they’re all true!
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Because i can see myself in you
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I lost my number…
Can i have yours?
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Did it hurt?
When you fell from heaven? 🙂
There were 3 women stranded on an island. 1 was a brunette. Then there was a red head and a blonde. well the brunette had an idea. she decided to swim to the closest island. she went. she got half way and drowned. then the red head decided to go. she got 3 quarters of the way but drowned. then the blonde went. she got half way but she got to tired and decided to swim back.
One day a girl named Tori was a quiet ugly girl.she had never had any friends and didn’t have a boyfriend.
well on day she meet one of the popular girls at school. all the guys thought that the popular girl was GORGES!! well one day the popular girl meet tori..and the popular girl was always making people that wasn’t popular feel bad about them selves.so the popular girl and her friends got together and told tori that she was pretty and that she didn’t understand why any of the guys didn’t like her ,and that she was super skinny.so tori took it all in saying,”i am gorges.” with everyone laughing at her the popular girl and her friends laughed and said sweet heart IT’S OPPOSITE DAY!!!!!!!!
If i told you had a nice body will you hold it against me?
Yo Mamma is SO old she sat behind Jesus 9in the 3rd Grade!
Yo momma is so old when she was in school they didn’t teach history.
Yo momma so old jesus sat beside her in class.
Yo momma so old she got afro’s on her titties
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,” the man shouted, “That’s not what I said!”
Three Doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ”I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized. ”
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ”I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.”
Doctor Ahn says, ”I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable. ”