Funny Stupid Questions
1. When were there only three vowels?
Before U (you) or I were born!
2. How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
Climb up the tree and act like a nut!
3. Where do you find tall teachers?
In a high school!
1. When were there only three vowels?
Before U (you) or I were born!
2. How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
Climb up the tree and act like a nut!
3. Where do you find tall teachers?
In a high school!
A man said to his wife one day,
“I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time”.
The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you.
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “an old rag”.
6. Although their clothes are always “just an old rag”, they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don’t believe you.
After Marriage Boys First 6 weeks, than 6 months, than 6 years
Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn’t love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I’m home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here’s the money. Buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.
Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don’t you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don’t do it again.
6 years : What’s not to understand about what I just said??
New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What’s so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What’s so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I’m going to watch ESPN, if you’re not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself.
A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: “You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you’ll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you’ll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I’ll open the door for you”
The boyfriend says: “Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?”
“Oh my God!! You’re not coming empty-handed, are you?”
If you have been in IT industry too long these are your symptoms:
1.) U use phrases like “No issues” and “Value addition” in everyday parlance. For e.g. When talking about your doodhwalla, U say, “His milk does zero value addition to my health but he is the only guy around so no issues”
2.) Ur prime source of entertainment is the forwards send to U by friends whose faces U cant remember.
3.) U drink more tea or coffee than water.
4.) U keep trying to shut down ur home computer by pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del (used to lock office comps)
5.) When ur mobile rings at home, U rush outside to receive the call.
6.) When U make calls at home, U accidentally dial “0”to get an outside line.
7.) U haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.
8.) Ur last crush was a girl in HR, ur current crush is the new girl in HR and all ur crushes in the future will be girls in HR.
9.) U spend the entire day reading forwards, smoking cigarettes, drinking tea/coffee and playing T.T. and then complain about the late working hours.
10.) Ur important ‘meetings’ usually comprise two or three people max, including yourself.
11) U secretly prepare for CAT only to find ur PL sitting behind you at the exam.
13.) U keep pressing Ctrl+Enter wondering why your gmail is not going.
14.) U email ur mate who works at the desk next to U.
15.) As U read this list, U r thinking of sending it to ur friends who are also in IT.
16.)U r too busy to notice there was no line no. 12
17.)U r not sure so u scroll back check it .
18.)And now u r smiling!!!!
your moma is so fat when she saw a bus drive by she said stop that twinkie! – GAVIN CHAMBLEE
Yo momma’s so fat when she put on a yellow raincoat people called TAXI!
yo momma is so stupid she sat on the t.v. and watched the couch.
One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man ‘Why are you eating grass?
‘We don’t have any money for food,’ the poor man replied. ‘We have to eat grass.
‘Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you’, the lawyer said.
‘But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree. ‘
Bring them along,’ the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, ‘You come with us also.
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, ‘But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!
‘Bring them all, as well,’ the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, ‘Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The lawyer replied, ‘Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!
Never come between a woman and her bag of chips
Q. If you chuck a blonde and a brick off a bridge which one would land first?
A. The brick because the blonde would ask for directions all the way down.
yo momma so ugly she entered a ugly contest and they said no pros allowed
yo momma so old she got jesus aim
yo momma so stupid she thought a penny was abe lincoln
yo momma so poor she chased down a garbage truck with a shopping list
yo momma so ashe it look like she rubbed her body against the chalk board
yo momma so stupid that left her brain in the supermarket
yo momma is so ugly, that the blind kid was scared of her.
yo momma is so stupid she sold her car for gas money.
yo momma is so stupid she studied for a blood test.
yo momma is so hairy when you were born you had rug burn.
yo momma’s so fat when she went to mcdonalds she had to tell them what she didn’t want.
yo momma’s so ugly that her reflection quit.
yo momma’s so fat she was baptized in sea world – brock \’n\’ jye
Yo mamma is so fat that when she fell I tried not to laugh but the ground was crackin up ! – Joe Mamma
One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in
no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of only 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name…….. ……… …….. (2 MARKS)
Q.2. which tyre bursted? (98 MARKS)
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right…..!! !
There were two blondes walking along the steet and she sees a mirror so she picks it up and says “that person looks familiar”.
The second blonde says “you dummy its me!”
Ya mum is so fat that quanta’s hired her as a jumbo jet.
Yo mum so fat when she jumped in the water, the water jumped out.
Ya mum is so fat that she tripped down the grand canyon and got stuck.
Ya mum is so ugly the last time she heard a whistle she got runover by a train.
Ya mum is so fat the only thing stopping her from getting to Jenny Craig is the door.
Ya mum is so fat that when she goes for a swim in the ocean she gets stuck between the continents.
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful … CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful … CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking!
Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”
The wife stared at him. “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “I wanted to show you what it feels like
when I’m driving.”
Before marriage…..
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
After marriage….
Simply read from bottom to top.
yo mama so dumb she tried to steal free samples from donut king.
yo mamma so ugly that when micheal jackson saw here he had a heart attack
hey whats that in the sky oi i found a new planet hey wait its ya mum
she sits on the tv and watches the couch.
yo mama so fat she sticks mayonnaise on her panadol.
Question How u make a blonde go crazy
Answer. Put her in a round room and tell her to go to the corner