Funny Junk

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have 5 fingers
And the middle one’s for YOU

A blonde sat in the bathroom for 30min. and the people outside started to get angry. The were pounding on the door. She slowly opened the door, only to hear gasps come from the small crowed. Finaly a man asked her why he forehead was covered in lipstick. She answered ” I was trying to MAKE UP my mind.”

There was 1 Hawaiian 1 Philipino and 1 Portuguese.they were stranded in the desert. So the Hawaiian had water so he wouldn’t get thirsty.The Philipino had food so he doesn’t get hungry n the Portuguese had a car door.so the Hawaiian n philipino asked the Portuguese why did u bring the door. Portuguese said so if i get hot i can role the window down!

The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England. These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.

Ques. Name the four seasons
Ans. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Ques. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
Ans. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Ques. How is dew formed
Ans. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Ques. What causes the tides in the oceans
Ans. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Ques. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
Ans. Premature death

Ques. How can you delay milk turning sour
Ans. Keep it in the cow

Ques. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
Ans. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Ques. What is a seizure?
Ans. A Roman Emperor.

Ques. What is a terminal illness
Ans. When you are sick at the airport.

So one day there were three dudes. For lunch, Brad, always got tuna and so he says,”If I get tuna 1 more time I’m going to jump off this building.” So then Larry gets his lunch and he gets tacos Again! And so he says,”If I get tacos 1 more time, I’m gonna electrocute myself severely.” Then, Cameron goes to get his lunch and he got salad again, so he says,” If I get salad one more time I’ll stab my self in the heart!” So then the next day they got the same food, so they had to have a funeral. So then everybody turns their head to look at Brad’s wife and she said,” If I knew about this I would not have given him tuna again.” Everybody turns their head to Larry’s girlfriend and she says,” If I would have known about this earlier, I would’ve given him something like spaghetti.” Then everybody turns their head at Cameron’s woman and she said,” Don’t look at me, he goes to McDonald’s every morning at 8:00 am and he buys his own lunch.”

Yo’ mama’ so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang ”ABC,123 GET THE HECK OFF OF ME!”

Yo’ mama’ So stupid when i told her christmas was around the corner she went and looked.

Yo’ mama’ so Fat when she sat around the house she sat “AROUND” the house.

Yo’ mama’ so stupid she put lipstick on her forhead Because she needed to MAKEUP her mind.

Yo’ mama’ so Fat when she went into outer space she cause and lunar and solar eclipse

Yo’ mama so fat when she was at a construction site they said “CAUTION, HEAVY LOAD!”

During the firemen’s strike of1978, the British Army had taken over emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over
the cat and killed it!..

a man wanted a job so another man comes in and asks the man please can you give me a sentence that has 3 different colors in it so the man says ” i was cooking in the kitchen and the phone went green green green green so i pinked it up and said yellow “

your mammas so fat when she tured around i missed 3 sesens of lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
– Submitted by Big Ben

yo mama so stupid that she stole free bread
– Submitted by Will

YO MAMA IS SO UGLY WHEN I TOOK HER TO A HAUNTED HOUSE SHE CAME OUT WITH A JOB APPLICATION!!!!!
– Submitted by Will

yo mamma so old that when she was in school they didnt have history.

yo mamma so fat it takes 2 trains 3 buses and a airplane just 2 get on her good side.

A blonde walks into a store and stops to look at some stuff. She decides that she wants the tv and tells an employee she wants to buy it. But the employee told her that blondes were not allowed at the store.

So, the blonde dyes her hair red and comes back to the store. She tells the employee that she wants to buy the tv, but he tells her that blondes are not allowed in the store.

So, she dyes her hair brown and goes into the store. She tells the employee that she wants to buy the tv and the employee tells her no blondes allowed.

So she is really frustrated now and says how do you know I’m blonde??? The employee says that its not a tv, its a microwave.