1. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice, in the movie ‘Hercules’, was dubbed.
2. The filming of the movie ‘Titanic’ cost more than the Titanic itself!
3. The names of Popeye’s four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye!
5. The Muppet Show was banned from Saudi Arabian TV because one if its stars was a pig.
6. The first video aired on MTV was “Video Killed the Radio Star” by the Buggles in 1981.
1. Rain contains vitamin B12.
2. Dirty snow melts faster than clean.
3. The speed of a typical raindrop is 17 miles per hour.
4. Oak trees are struck by lightning more than any other tree.
5. The Earth sees about 760 thunderstorms every hour.
6. The winter of 1932 in the US was so cold that Niagara falls froze completely solid!
7. In ten minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world’s nuclear weapons combined!
Two friends talking in a bar “Hows your wife, John?” Sure, she do be awful sick.” “Is ut dangerous she is?”
John replies “No, shes too weak to be dangerous anymore!”
A fourball watches a lone player play up short of the green they are on.
As they tee off at the next hole they watch the lone player quickly chip on and putt out.
He almost runs to the tee where the four ball is.
He looks at the bewildered players and says, “I say chaps could I play through, I’ve just heard the wife has had a terrible accident”.
1 If a mirror breaks itself, it is considered a very bad omen.
2. To dream of a lizard is a sign that you have a secret enemy.
3. A horseshoe hung in upright position at house gate will bring luck.
4. A white butterfly brings good luck if its the first one you had seen in an year.
5. Bring a new broom if you move to your new house, never ever carry your old one with you.
6. Cat’s or dog’s crying in your house at night means some one in your house will be terribly sick.
7. Pirates believed that piercing the ears with such precious metals as silver and gold improved one’s eyesight.
8. Catch a falling leaf on the first day of autumn and it is believed that you will not catch a cold in that entire season.
9. If you blow all of the candles on your birthday cake with one breath, while making a silent wish, that wish will be fulfilled
10. Collect seven or nine different flowers on midsummer eve and place them under your pillow and it is said that you will dream of your future spouse.
1. I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
2. You have a good family tree, but the crop is a failure.
3. You are dark and handsome; when it’s dark, you are handsome.
4. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
5. You are not totally useless, you can be used as an bad example!
6. It’s amazing you love nature so much in spite of what it did to you.
7. I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you’ve never used it.
8. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.
9. Anybody who told you to be yourself, simply couldn’t have given you worse advice.
10. I don’t mind that you are talking so long as you don’t mind that I’m not listening.
11. Some people bring happiness wherever they go – you bring happiness whenever you go.
12. People can’t say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!
13. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes!
14. I don’t think you are a fool. But then, what’s my own humble opinion against thousands of others?
15. All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that’s the only way they could.
1. Shock me, say something intelligent.
2. You’re a habit I’d like to kick; with both feet!!
3. There’s only one trouble with your face – it shows!
4. I hear the only place you’re ever invited is outside.
5. Don’t you have a terribly empty feeling — in your skull?
6. If you ever tax your brain, don’t charge more than a penny.
7. You have a face only a mother could love — and she hates it!
8. I would like the pleasure of your company, but it only gives me displeasure.
9. Look, don’t go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you’ve got a palm.
10. You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.
1. I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.
– Stephen Bishop
2 . I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
– Groucho Marx
3. I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
– Mark Twain
4. He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
– Oscar Wilde
5. . I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.
George Bernard Shaw sent it to Winston Churchill
Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.
Winston Churchill’s response to what George Bernard Shaw sent
1. You’re so fat, you could sell shade!
2. You’re so fat, you leave footprints in concrete.
3. You are so fat NASA orbits satellites around you.
4. You’re so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall!
5. You’re so fat, when you take a shower your feet don’t get wet!
6. Your so fat when you go to theme parks you get a group discount!
7. You’re so fat even Bill Gates couldn’t pay for your liposuction!
8. At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn’t hit me in the face.
Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?
Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!
Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question?
Johnny: It’s because I saw one on daddy’s lettuce, but now it’s gone.
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.”
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, “Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn’t be eating here.”
A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.
Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl. “I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!”
“That’s okay, dear,” the aunt replied. “After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway.”
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. “Good heavens,” he said, “what is this?”
“Why, it’s bean soup,” she replied.
“I don’t care what it has been,” he sputtered. “What is it now?”
Sign in restaurant window: “Eat now – Pay waiter.”
Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.
If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?
A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Birthday cake is the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece.
It’s called “fast” food because you’re supposed to eat it really fast. Otherwide, you might actually taste it.
“Kelly, shut up!”, cried the golfer at his nagging wife, “Shut up or you’ll drive me out of my mind.”
“That,” said Kelly, “wouldn’t be a drive, it would be a short putt.”
Read them 5 times slowly first and then try to read as fast as possible
1. Bad black bran bread.
2. Ape Cakes, Grape Cakes.
3. Come kick six sticks quick.
4. Big ben blew big blue bubbles.
5. Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
6. The fuzzy bee buzzed the buzzy busy beehive.
7. A cup of proper coffee in a copper coffee cup.
8. A big bug bit a bold bald bear and the bold bald bear bled blood badly.
9. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?
So, fascinated by tongue twisters, read these slowly to start with and then increase your pace and see laugh off as your tongue twists them
1. Double bubble gum, bubbles double.
2. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
3. I saw a saw that could out saw any other saw I ever saw.
4. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
5. A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies
Facing problem learning one two three, check this out
One old Oxford ox opening oysters.
Two tired turkeys trotting to the trolley.
Three tricky tigers tipping ten tall trees.
Four fat friars foolishly fishing for flowers.
Five funny Frenchmen fanning fainting flies.
Six sick sailors sighting sinking ships.
Seven sinister sisters swallowing soothing syrup.
Eight elegant Englishmen eagerly eating eclairs.
Nine nimble noblemen neatly nibbling nothing.
Ten tiny ticks throwing terrible temper tantrums.
From: Steven Caney’s Kids’ America.
An airliner was having engine trouble and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to
have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
All set back here, Captain,came the reply,except for one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards.
Two drunk men were out bird-hunting.
Suddenly, one of them said,”Hey! I see two birds!”
“Well, shoot then,”said the other man.
“But which one do I shoot?”
“Hmm…take another drink,”the other man said, handing him the bottle.
“Hey! Now I see three!”exclaimed the man.
“Good. Shoot the one in the middle.”