Student Throw his Watch

Q: Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window?
A: He wanted to see time fly.

First Time In Bar

A Lady visited A Bar for the First Time, She Sat on the Table in Front of the Bar Tender..

A Guy at Her Left ordered: “Jack Daniels, Single”

A Guy at Her Right ordered: “Johnny Walker, Single”

The Bar Tender Looked at the Lady & said: And You..??

Lady replied: “Monika Deshpande, Married..!!”

A man asks a trainer in the gym:

A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”

I will marry the girl

I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card

You Don’t Know Something?

You Don’t Know Something? Google It. You Don’t Know Someone? Facebook It. You Can’t Find Something? Mom!

Touch it gently

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

There is nothing greater

There is nothing greater in this world than being loving parents. So take the first step today by getting married. Think different, do different!

I hate math

I hate math but I love counting money.

I believe in hate

I believe in hate at first sight.

If I get jealous

If I get jealous then yes I really like you.

We all are born

We all are born to die don’t feel more special than me.

I’m not arguing,

I’m not arguing, I’m simply tried to explaining why I’m Right.

Laziness

Laziness is me middle name.

I wonder if I’ve met the person

I wonder if I’ve met the person I’m going to marry.

No one can write better

No one can write better non-sense than me

Believe on the dog

Believe on the dog but not on girl

I love my job

I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

A lazy person

A lazy person is the one who can turn a call into a missed call.

What are you doing

Yesterday I saw someone pushing a bottle of Schweppes into his ass, I said, “What are you doing ?!” He replied: “Schweppes: Drink Different..”

I have a Impudent neighbor

I have a Impudent neighbor Knocking on my door at 2AM He’s lucky I was in a drum lesson