Keep it in his books
Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
I don’t know what to do?
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Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…
Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
I don’t know what to do?
.
.
.
.
Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…
New way of writting answers in exams.
If you don’t know the answer,
then put lines like this :
||||||||||
and write below :
“Scratch here for ANSWERS”
The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.
If you love someone set them free,
if you hate someone set them free.
Basically set everyone free and get a dog.
People are stupid.
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts, “Mypen*s,” and the wife falls on the ground laughing
because on the screen it says, “Error. Not long enough.”
Poor teacher
Teacher: “Kids,what does the chicken give you?”
Student: “Meat!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Student: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Student: “Homework!”
A science teacher tells his class,
“Oxygen is a must for breathing and life.
It was discovered in 1773.”
A blonde student responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773!
Otherwise I would have died without it.
The patient says, “Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.”
The doctor says, “Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.”
mug = cup
Call me a Taxi
A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.
A: Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
Teacher: What’s the past participle of the verb “to ring?”
Student: What do you think, sir?
Teacher: I don’t think. I KNOW.
Student: I don’t think I know either, sir.
Q: What has many keys but can’t open any doors?
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A: A piano.
Yes
A teacher is talking to a student.
Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
A: Why are you late?
B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on it.
A student is talking to his teacher.
Student: “Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?”
Teacher:” Of course not.”
Student: “Good, because I haven’t done my homework.”
I decided to make my password “incorrect” because if I type it in wrong,
my computer will remind me, “Your password is incorrect.”
Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?”
Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
Q: How do Chinese people name their babies?
A: They throw them down the stairs to see what noise they make.
No Offence Chinese
Teacher says to student, In Algebra
A=B
&
B=C.
It means A=C.
Now give relevant example.
Student: Sir, I love you & You love your daughter,
It means that I love your daughter.