A Customer Ordered A Cup Of Coffee In A Restaurant !

A customer ordered a cup of coffee in a restaurant! The waiter served the coffee. The customer found a fly in the coffee. He called the waiter.

Customer: How do I drink this coffee!

Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink a coffee?

Customer: Waiter, see, there is a fly in my coffee.

Waiter: Oh yes sir, you are right! There is a fly in your coffee.

Customer: Waiter, I said, there is a fly in MMY coffee (He stressed the word MY)

Waiter: Oh don’t worry sir, the fly won’t drink much!

Customer: Waiter, it is swimming in my coffee.

Waiter: Sir, do you want me to get a lifeguard for the fly sir?

(Annoyed) Customer: the fly dead, it’s irritating!

Waiter: I guess, it doesn’t know how to swim properly.

Customer: How do I drink this coffee?

Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink? I will teach you!

He drank the coffee! And said, this is how you should drink a coffee.

Girl: Hi ! What u doing ?

Boy: Hey !
.
Girl: Hi ! What u doing ?
.
Boy: Texting the most beautiful girl in
the world..
Girl: Aww How cute !
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: Ya ! But She is not replying, so m
texting U !!
.

This Is 21st Century!

Our Phones: Wireless

Cooking: Fireless

Cars: Keyless

Food: Fatlewss

Tyres: Tubeless

Dress: Sleeveless

Youth: Jobless

Leaders: Shameless

Relationships: Meaningless

Attitude: Careless

Feelings: Heartless

Education: Valueless!

Husband Throwing Knives On Wifes Picture. All Were Missing The Target!

Husband throwing knives on wifes picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her
“Hi,wat ru doin?”
His honest reply,”MISSING U”

Then Devil Thought That He Couldn’t Be Everywhere He Made A Mother-In-Law.

God thought that since he couldn’t b everywhere he made a mother.

Then devil thought that he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.

Crazy Heights Of Jokes

Heights of :-

1) Fashion?
Lungi with a zip.

2) Laziness?
Asking lift for morning walk.

3) Craziness?
Get blank paper xerox.

4) Hope?
A 99 yr. Old woman going for 295/-recharge to get lifetime incoming.

5) Stupidity?
Looking through key hole of a glass door.

6) Suicide attempt?
A dwarf jumps from the footpath on the road.

7) Height of free time?
You are reading the whole msg

You Need To Focus More On Your Husband

Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab ?

Pappu: Amritsar.

Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.

Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.

Teacher: Yes, go ahead.

Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Preeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Banto?

Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ?

Pappu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.

Things In Boys Room

Things in Boys room Before marriage:

Perfumes

Love letters

Laptops

Cards

Nokia Lumia

.

And After marriage:

Pain killers

Loan papers

Unpaid bills

Huggies

Nokia 1100

Hey, man! Please Call Me A Taxi

Man1 : Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.

Man2 : Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

No,You Stupid, A Normal Person Would Pull The Drain Plug!

A Journalist To A Doctor Of A Mental Hospital:

“How Do You Determine Whether To Admit A Patient Or Not?”

Doctor: “Well, We First Fill A Bathtub With Water Till The Top. Then Give A Teaspoon,

A Glass & A Bucket To The Patient & Ask Him / Her To Empty The Bathtub.”

Journalist: “Obviously A Normal Person Would Use A Bucket Because It’s Bigger!”

Doctor: “No You Stupid, A Normal Person Would Pull The Drain Plug!

Admit This Idiot In Ward No. 39

Women Won’t Play Football Not Coz They Aren’t Gud At It….

“ Women wont play football not coz they aren’t gud at
it..
But coz its against their ego to b dressed up exactly like
10 other women in front of 10,000 people..

No,You Stupid, A Normal Person Would Pull The Drain Plug!

A Journalist To A Doctor Of A Mental Hospital:

“How Do You Determine Whether To Admit A Patient Or Not?”

Doctor: “Well, We First Fill A Bathtub With Water Till The Top. Then Give A Teaspoon,

A Glass & A Bucket To The Patient & Ask Him / Her To Empty The Bathtub.”

Journalist: “Obviously A Normal Person Would Use A Bucket Because It’s Bigger!”

Doctor: “No You Stupid, A Normal Person Would Pull The Drain Plug!

Admit This Idiot In Ward No. 39

Women Won’t Play Football Not Coz They Aren’t Gud At It….

“ Women wont play football not coz they aren’t gud at
it..
But coz its against their ego to b dressed up exactly like
10 other women in front of 10,000 people..

Female To Female……

Only Two Types Of Communications Are Fastest In The World…
.
.
.
E-Mail To Email
&
Female To Female………

I Am Looking For A Bank

I am Looking for a Bank
which can perform Two things for me.

Give me a Loan,
and
then Leave me Alone……….

Which Will Reach Down First?

A pizza and an apple were thrown down from the 15th floor.
Which will reach down first?
.
.
Ans:The Pizza,as it’s fast food!

Smoking Is Injurious To Health

A Software Engg was smoking
Girl: Didn’t u see the warning ?
Smoking is injurious to health.
Engineer: We bother only about errors & not warnings

It Is Either He Has A New Car Or A New Wife….

When a man opens a car door for his wife
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
It is either he has a new car or a new wife…

Difficult To Understand Girls

Difficult To Understand Girls
Few days back when she called me I was having food
She got angry that i didnt ask her to join me..
Today when she called i was..
.
.
.
Taking bath & i asked her to join,
she was angry again..!!

Lion Always Come Alone…..

Principal:
Why Are You Late?
Your Classmates Came Together On Time.
Student:
Sir, Sheeps Always
Come Together
But
Lion Always come alone…..