Saambhar or Rassam?

Wife : Shall I prepare Sambhar or Rasam today

Husband : First make it, we will name it later ????

Dad I got punished in school today.

Son: Dad I got punished in school today.

Dad: Why?

Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me.

Saying.. At the end of scale there is an Idiot”

I Just asked “which end”…? ????

Look At that guy drinking and dancing

In a party..

Wife: Look At that guy drinking n dancing.!

Husband: Who’s he?

Wife: 10 years back he proposed me & I rejected him

Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating..:p

Girls Attitude on Dirty WhatsApp Jokes

Attitude of Girls :
When a Boy Sends Dirty SMS

.

She Laughs For 10 Minutes,
Forwards That to Her Friends
and..
Then Replies the Boy

I Don’t Like That Kind of SMS :/

What’s the difference between people who pray

What’s the difference
between
people who pray in temples
and
people who pray in exam centers ?

think?

.

.

People in exam centers are damn serious..!!

Difference between Sun and Bun

Difference between Sun and Bun?

Sun rises in the east and sets in the west!

Bun rises in yeast and sets in the waist!! ????

Teacher – Who is SRK?

Teacher – Who is SRK?

Alia Bhatt –
A guy who does ‘Titanic pose’ again and again,
without Titanic and without Kate Winslet.. ????

Funny quote on a husband’s T-Shirt

Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:

“All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen of them.

Rahul Gandhi has decided to field Mandira Bedi against Kiran Bedi

Rahul Gandhi has decided to field Mandira Bedi against Kiran Bedi as the Delhi CM candidate for Congress.

Any guesses why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because 1 MB = 1024 KB!

Baby mosquito’s first flying

Baby mosquito came back after its first flying…
His dad asked him, “how do u feel ?”
He replied “it was wonderful daddy… All humans clapped hands for me!! :)”

Moral:- Life is too beautiful, it depends on our way of thinking, why waste time on what people think…

Height of Attitude

“Height of Attitude”

A Sleeping Beggar puts a Notice Board in front of Him..
Plz Do Not Make Noise By

.

Dropping Coins…!!

Use Currency Notes..!!

Husband Wife in Marriage

Wife ask –
why in all marriages girl sits on left side and
boy on right side?

Husband replies –
According to profit and loss statement a/c all
income is on right side and expenses are on left
side”…..

Happy march ending.

Read more: http://www.jokofy.com/jokes/english-jokes/#ixzz3Xb1Nz2Qm

What are vowels?

Teacher: What are vowels ?

Student : Vowels are special sounds that are heard during S3x..

Are you an alcoholic?

I found a Leaflet in my newspaper this morning which read,
“ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!”

My wife insisted I make the call..

I Called up.
It Was A Liquor Shop Offer : “Buy 3 & Get 1 Free”…

My eyes were filled with tears of joy.!!

An apple a day

An apple a day….
is almost a thousand rupees a month….!

Visiting a doctor is cheaper…!!

Be practical…!! ???? ????

What Did The Male Dog Say To The Female Dog?

What did the male dog say 2 the female dog in the cool night with bright moon light?
.
.
THINK ??
.
.
BOW BOW! What else can a dog say?

When nobody likes your Facebook status!

What’s the most most embarrassing moment in one’s life?
.
..

When nobody likes your Facebook status!

A Good Teacher According To Students Is One Who

A good teacher according to students is One who :

-Should Be Absent At Least 3 Times A Week
-Should Come In Class 10mins Late And Left The Class 10 Mins Earlier
-Should Not Give Any Homework And Assignments
-Should Not Ask Any Questions To Students
-Should Not Disturb The Students By Teaching While They Are Talking

4 Stages of Marriage

4 Stages of marriage:

1. Mad for each other….

2. Made for each other….

3. Mad at each other….

4. Mad bcoz of each other…

Height of Addiction

Height of Addiction: Just bofore a prisoner was ready to be hanged to death the officer asked him about his last wish..!!
He said- I want to update MyFACEBOOK status as DIED ..!!