Funny Junk

Q: Wha’t big and grey and can fly straight up?
A: An elecopter.

Q: What do elephants do for entertainment?
A: Watch elevision.

Q: How do elephants communicate?
A: They talk on the elephone.

Q: How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator?
A: Look for his footprints in the cheesecake.

Q: How do you tell if there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A: Look for two sets of footprints side by side.

Q: How do you tell if there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
A: The door won’t close.

Q: How many giraffes will fit in the refrigerator?
A: None: there are already too many elephants in there.
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Smoking is injurious to health..Funny way to convey this message all around the world

The direction of mic was solely responsible for the cheerful crowd…

The mouse knows the benefit of wearing helmet..wear helmet save life!!

THE “FORWARDER’S” 12 STEP PROGRAM – EVERYONE SAY IT
WITH ME …

1) I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON’T forward an email!

2) I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.

3) Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria Secret doesn’t know anything about a gift
certificate they’re supposed to send me.

4) Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people!

5) I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.

6) I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail …NEVER–NEVER !!

7) There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!

8) There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN’T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.

9) The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.

10) There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I
will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO,NADA !!

11) The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.

12) And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don’t believe in Jesus Christ. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on!

Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your
friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months and
all of your hair will fall out!

Crossing the river one day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
The first man prayed to God, saying, “Please God, give me the strength to cross this river.” Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, “Please God, give me the strength… and the tools to cross this river.”

Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, “Please God, give me the strength and the tools… and the intelligence… to cross this river.”

And poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.

The administration is so much caring…placed a sign board!!!

Thats what MIG’s were famous for!!!

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice

“I’d like to try the bet.” After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man…

“What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, what?”

The man replied, “I work for the IRS.”

These little kids really have the indepth knowledge about Mathematics..See how cleverly they answer the questions