Teacher : ” Hello boys, Remember Nothing is impossible.”
One of the 20 Students: “Ok Sir, You please take out all the toothpaste and put it back into the tube again.

Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated.

Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.

Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot.
Sam : It’s a family tradition.
Teacher : What do you mean ?
Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.
Teacher : What about your mother ?
Sam : She’s a woman.

Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side.

Teacher : Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field”
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”