Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren’t married yet.
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Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying ?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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Guide: “I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world’s largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can’t be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls ?”
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Father to son after exam: “let me see your report card.”
Son: “My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”
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Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense.
Pupil: The future tense is “You will go to jail”.
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They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense
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Student1: How was ur exam?
Student2: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK. I thought, thought & finally i wrote ‘THUNK’.
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Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots.
L-Johnny: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair of the same at home.
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TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
L-JOHNY: Me.
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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
EACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?
JOHNY: George!
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TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor ?
L-JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables.
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Teacher: Johny, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s.
Did u copy his ?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it’s the same dog.
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L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
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L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark ?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write ?
L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.
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TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
L-JOHNY: I is…
TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, “I am.”
L-JOHNY: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
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TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNY: Don’t bite any.
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Teacher: Johny, why do you always get so dirty?
Little Johny: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground then you are.
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TEACHER: Why are you late?
L-JOHNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
L-JOHNY: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
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Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we dont need it.
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A redneck opens his lunch box in the middle of the road….why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office
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