Devil or Santa Claus
School teacher asked Little Johnny, “Do you believe in the Devil?”
“No,” said Little Johnny. “It’s the same as Santa Claus. I know it’s my daddy.”
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Funny School Jokes - Page 3
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Teacher and Little Johnny
Teacher to Little Johnny – Tell me one thing which flies in the sky but gives birth on earth
Little Johnny replies in a fraction of second- Air Hostess
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Little Johnny Learning Numbers
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”
“Can you tell me what comes after three?”
“Four,” answers little Johnny.
“What comes after six?”
“Seven,” answers little Johnny.
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a very fine job.
What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” answers little Johnny.
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Basic Bible knowledge
The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, “Who broke down the walls of Jericho?”
Little Johnny replies, “I dunno, but it wasn’t me!”
The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny’s lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.
The principal replies, “I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth.”
Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story…
After listening he replies: “I can’t see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the wall!”
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Little Johnny Defines Eight
Teacher: How much is half of 8
Little Johnny: Up and down or across ?
Teacher: What do you mean ?
Little Johnny: Well,up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0
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True Teacher
Teacher : Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.
Father: What’s that?
Teacher : With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.
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Little Attention
Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I’m paying as little attention as I can.
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Earth is Round
Teacher asked Little Johnny: How can you prove the earth is round?
Little Johnny replied: I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.
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School Ahead Go Slow
Teacher asked : Why are you late for school?
Johnny: Because of the Sign.
Teacher : What Sign?
Johnny : The sign that says “School ahead go slow”
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Important in 1700
The teacher said to Little Johnny, “What important in the 1700’s people did not have that we have Today.”
Little Johnny said, “ME.”
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Future Tense
Teacher:(I killed a person.)tell me this sentence in future tense.
Student: In future tense, (You will go to jail.)
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God Doesn’t Exist
One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her. Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn’t believe in God.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said, “But I thought God created mankind?”
Ms. Evans then replied, “Well can you see God?”
“No.”
“Hear God?”
“No.”
“Feel God?”
“No.” This went on for quite a while.
“Well then God doesn’t exist.”
Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, “Can you see Ms. Evan’s brain. No, so that must not exist.”
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I M Possible
Teacher: Children nothing is impossible! Impossible itself says I M Possible
Little Johnny :Sir,then take out the tooth paste from the tube and put it back!!!
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Little Johnny Doing Math
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4 ?
Little Johnny: That’s not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one !
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Five Excuses for not doing Homework
* I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
* I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn’t actually reach it.
* I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
* I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
* I couldn’t figure out whether I am the square of negative one or I am the square root of negative one.
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Practical Example
Math Teacher : If a=b and b=c then a=c, now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.
Student : I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter.
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Teacher and Student
Teacher: How many letters are there totally in “A.B.C.D”?
Student: 4
Teacher: I meant the complete set, not just “A.B.C.D”
Student: 52
Teacher: What?! How?
Student: Lower case 26 and Upper case 26.
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Punishment
Student– “Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?”
TEACHER – “Of course not.”
Student– “Good, because I haven`t done my homework.”
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Deck The School Halls
(Sing to the tune of “Deck the Halls”)
The halls were decked with toilet paper.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
Teacher blamed me for that caper.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
Called me names that I can’t mention.
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
Now we both are in detention.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
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Little Johnny Scores
When Little Johnny got home, he told her dad that he got a 100 in school. His dad told her to sit down and tell him all about it.
Little Johnny said, “Well, I got a 20 in math, a 30 in science, and a 50 in spelling!
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