What did you get for your birthday?
Another year!
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What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
They were all born on holidays.
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Why was the ticket checker’s son having a cake on a train seat?
It was his berth-day.
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The teacher said to Little Johnny, “What important in the 1700’s people did not have that we have Today.”
Little Johnny said, “ME.”
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Q.How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A.His lips are moving
Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A. Sue.
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Ques. Where do fish sleep?
Answer. In a river bed
Ques. What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
Answer. You can’t tuna fish.
Ques. Why you should never tell a joke on ice. while fishing?
Answer. The ice will crack up!
Ques. what do you catch when you go ice fishing
Answer. A cold
Ques. what did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall?
Answer. Damn
Ques. Where do fish keep money?
Answer. In a river bank
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Question: If marriages are made in heaven, than what are made in Hell?
.
.
.
Answer: The days after marriage!
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Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
.
.
.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.
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When a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage-
It is love
When a man holds a woman’s hand after marriage-
It is self-defense
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Q: During Indian Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit on the horse?
A: He is given his last chance to run away…!!
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What Do you call someone who lives in a mailbox
Bill because there will be bills in your mailbox
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The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England. These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.
Ques. Name the four seasons
Ans. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Ques. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
Ans. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Ques. How is dew formed
Ans. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Ques. What causes the tides in the oceans
Ans. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Ques. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
Ans. Premature death
Ques. How can you delay milk turning sour
Ans. Keep it in the cow
Ques. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
Ans. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Ques. What is a seizure?
Ans. A Roman Emperor.
Ques. What is a terminal illness
Ans. When you are sick at the airport.
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Whats the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger woods?
Santa stops at three ho’s.
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Do you know the answers??? 🙂
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That hurt, you stupid idiot?”
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Ques. How many scientists does it take to get out of a corn maze?
Ans. They don’t know…none of them have made it out yet!!!!!!!!
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Ques. How do you drown a blonde ?
Ans . Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool
OR
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool
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1. When were there only three vowels?
Before U (you) or I were born!
2. How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
Climb up the tree and act like a nut!
3. Where do you find tall teachers?
In a high school!
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