The elderly American Navy Soldier arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport.

“You ‘ave been to France before, monsieur?” the customs officer asked sarcastically.

The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously.

“Zen, you should know enough to ‘ave your passport ready for inspection.”

The American said, “The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.”

“Impossible. You Americans alwayz ‘ave to show your passports on arrival in France!”

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, “Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach in the war of 44; I couldn’t find any Frenchmen to show it to!”

1. Your mail goes to four addresses in two countries before it reaches you.

2. You know the Tricare regulations/procedures better than their service reps.

3. You are strangely attracted (or repulsed) by the color green.

4. You can calculate the cost of a 5-minute phone call from any country, any time, on up to four different calling plans.

5. At a distance, you can pick out your husband from 100 other men with identical haircuts and clothes.

An officer in the U.S. Naval reserve was attending a conference of officers from the U.S. Navy and the French Navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies. A French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English. He then asked: “Why is it that we have to speak English at these conferences rather than speak French?”

Without hesitating, an American Admiral replied: “Maybe it’s because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German.” The group became silent.