Spell SPOT three times
“Spell SPOT three times.”
“S P O T , S P O T , S P O T”
“What do you do when you come to a green light?”
(answer is invariably-) “Stop!”
“What, at a GREEN light?”
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Funny Jokes - Page 7
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When I stand on my head
A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn’t rush to my feet. Why is this?
B: It’s because your feet aren’t empty.
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Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Doctor, I think that I’ve been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, I but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.
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Why are all those people running?
A: Why are all those people running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?
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What did you do today to help your mother?
Mouhssin Father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes
Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.
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Did your father help your with your homework?
Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.
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Excuse me
Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it.
Waitress: Oh, that’s okay. The soup isn’t hot.
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I have a good, cheap apartment for you.”
The real estate agent says, “I have a good, cheap apartment for you.”
The man replys, “By the week or by the month?”
The agent answers, “By the garbage dump..”
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The teacher to a student
The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb “to walk” in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ….
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run …
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Customer in a restaurant:
Customer in a restaurant: I would like to have a plate of rice and a piece of fried chicken and a cup of coffee
Waitress : Is it enough Sir?
Customer : What? Do you think I can’t buy more?
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Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can’t understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.
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Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let’s start from your bank account.
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Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
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Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?
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Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
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A teacher asked a student to write 55.
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don’t know which side to write the other 5!
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Headmaster: I’ve had complaints
Headmaster: I’ve had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
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