Dear Billy Jo Bob,
I’m writting this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn’t have to change their address.

This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I’m not sure it works so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven’t seen it since.

The weather isn’t bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for fourdays.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven’t found out what it is yet so I don’t know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn’t get the tailgate down.

Your Favorite Aunt,
Thelma

Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said “You’re #1!”

Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day, too.

St. Patrick’s Day, however, would remain exactly the same.

But it would be celebrated every month.

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A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man’s friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside.
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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?”
“Sixteen,” the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. “How do you know that?”
“Easy”, the little boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.”

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A major research institution after extensive study of UNMEE HQ in Asmara, Eritrea has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named “Administratium”.

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A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”.

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It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.

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A American failed the Medical Examination as he had answered as below !!

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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” she asked.

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Two income tax collectors died and arrived at the pearly gates.

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