I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

Yesterday I saw someone pushing a bottle of Schweppes into his ass, I said, “What are you doing ?!” He replied: “Schweppes: Drink Different..”

I saw a shampoo with the title: “Rich-looking” So I washed my purse .

Even if you are a mass murderer, International rogue,and children Abductor,People Will Still bless you “continue to be who you are” in your birthday.

Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it

With all this technology above and under, humanity still hunts down one another.

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.