A good teacher according to students is One who :
-Should Be Absent At Least 3 Times A Week
-Should Come In Class 10mins Late And Left The Class 10 Mins Earlier
-Should Not Give Any Homework And Assignments
-Should Not Ask Any Questions To Students
-Should Not Disturb The Students By Teaching While They Are Talking
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4 Stages of marriage:
1. Mad for each other….
2. Made for each other….
3. Mad at each other….
4. Mad bcoz of each other…
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Height of Addiction: Just bofore a prisoner was ready to be hanged to death the officer asked him about his last wish..!!
He said- I want to update MyFACEBOOK status as DIED ..!!
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Before Marriage:-
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she: Do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: Do you love me ?
He: Ofcourse! over n over!
She: Have u ever cheated on me?
He: No!y r u even asking?
She: will u go on wid me on picnic?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will u hit me ?
He: R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust u?
He: Yes..
She: Darling!
After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top
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Boy: I heard you failed in English?
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Girl: who TELLED you? It’s unpossible, I will checked the results yesterday and I passed away…….. :p
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This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,
keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,
20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
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Teacher: where is Everest?
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Student: I don’t know Mam….
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Teacher: You Stand on the desk!
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Student: Still cannot see ma’am
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“DRINKS”
D-elicious aftr 1 Peg.
R-omantic aftr 2 peg.
I-nterested aftr 3 peg.
N-aughty aftr 4 peg.
K-ing aftr 5 peg.
S-nake aftr 6 peg…..
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When I was Studying My Mom Was calling me..
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But I did not respond.. I was deeply involved in Studies But she Called me again n again..
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I shouted
Plz Leave me to Study, My exam is near plz I want to Study, I want to Study My Mom Slapped me and
said Stop Dreaming “Wakeup n Study
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Wife: Look At that drunker.
Husband: Who is he ?
Wife: 10yrs back he proposed me I rejected him
Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating…!
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Boyfriend : Please Keep Me In Your Brain, Not In Your Heart..
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Girlfriend : How Funny, Why Not Heart..?
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Boyfriend : Because
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Your Heart Is Housefull And Brain Is Empty, More Empty Space Means More Comfort.
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Just Imagine Life Without Boyz:::
Roads Silent
Collages Empty
Police At Rest
All Mobile Companies In Loss
No Sms
No Gift
No Alcohol
No Bikes
No Crime
No Couples
Which Means World Depends On Us;;;;;
BOYS ROCKS
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We Pronounce
22 As Twenty Two,
33 As Thirty Three,
44 As Forty Four,
55 As Fifty Five…..
Then Why Not We Say 11 As Onety One?………..
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Doubt By – Last Bench Association.
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Moral- Real Genius Are Sitting On Last Benches!
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If Girls Is In Love, Her Parents Asks :Who Is That Idiot ?
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If Boyz Is In Love, His Parents Asks ? Idiot Who Is That Girl ?
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MORAL : No Matter Whoever In Love, Boyz Are Always IDIOTS….
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Husband: You will never succeed in making that dog obey you !
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first…….
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Wife: Can u help me in the gardening?
Husband: What do u think I am…a gardener?
Wife: Can u fix the door handle?
Husband: What do you think I am… a Carpenter?
Next day, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.
Husband: Who did all this ?
Wife: Our neighbour. But he gave me two options…..Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.
Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger. Wife: What do u think I am…….McDonalds
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Never underestimate the power of three things;
1. Wife angry for a reason;
2. Wife angry without reason
and
3. Wife about to get angry & looking for a reason.
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A newly married husband saved his wife’s mobile number on his mobile as- “ My LIFE ”
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After one year of marriage he changed the Number to- “ My WIFE ”
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After 2 years of marriage he changed the number to- “ My HOME ”
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After 5 years of marriage he changed the number to- “ HITLER
”
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&
After 10 years of marriage he changed the number to- “ WRONG NUMBER ”
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Boy1 : Meet my wife Tina
Boy2 : Oh! I know her
Boy1 : How?
Boy2 : We were caught sleeping together
Boy1 : What the hell?
Boy2 : During lecture in maths class
Think +ve
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Manager: Do you know anything about this fax-machine?
Staff: A little. What’s wrong sir?
Manager: Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.
Staff: How did you load the sheet?
Manager: I didn’t want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it.
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