A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way.

After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. “I’m doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this.”

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn’t radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.

When he asked what happened, she said, “I don’t know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!”

At a stadium, a comedian was sent in. He would tell the audience 99 funny jokes. If you got to the end without laughing at any of the jokes, you would win a billion pounds. So, only a blonde was left at the last joke. Suddenly, she started laughing before the joke began. As she came out, everyone asked her why she started laughing. She said, “I’m sorry, but that first joke was just too funny!”

A blonde and a brunete r takin a walk in the park wen suddenly the brunete goes ‘LOOK A DEAD BIRD!’ and in reply the blonde looks up in the sky and goes’where!?’

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red-head, and they were captured by Native Americans. The punishment was to be shot. At the red-head’s execution the cheif asked if she had any last words the red-head replied “Tornado!” they all turned and she got away. At the brunettes the cheif asked the same thing and she replied “hurricane!” they all looked and she got away, at the blondes the cheif asked the same thing and she said “Fire!”….

An old man was out watering his garden when his blonde neighbor came out. She walked to her mailbow, opened it, closed it and walked back inside. A couple minutes later she came out again opened her mailbox and closed it. She did this a couple of times and each time she seemed to get angrier. Finally the old man watched as she walked to the mailbow looked in it and slammed it shut. The old man asked “Why do you keep checking your mailbox?” the blonde looked at him and replied “My computer keeps saying I got mail!”

There was a blond, red-head, and brunette. So god says if u dont laugh at my 100 jokes u will go 2 heaven if u will laugh you will stay here on earth forever. So God tells the red-head 50 jokes and she laughs. then god tells the brunette 75 jokes and she laughs. then god tells 99 jokes to the blonde then she laughs. god asks “why did you laugh you only had one more joke to go?” the blonde says “i just got the first joke”.

Once there was a portal that if u say wat is true u will get wat u want. if u ly then u will be sucked in there forever. there were 3 girls: a redhead, a brunette, & a blonde. the redhead went up to the portal & said ‘i think that im the smartest girl in the world’ & she walked away with the stuff she wished for. the brunette went up to the portal & said ‘i think im the prettiest girl in the world’ & she walked away with the stuff she wished for. the blonde girl went up to the portal & said ‘ i think..’ & she got sucked into the portal.

How do you drown a blonde?

You stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool!

A blonde enters a bar and asks the barman,
“Oh! Sir! Please! Can you help me? I have just bought two ponies but I can’t tell them apart! What should I do?”
“Why don’t you chop off one of their tails,” the barman replied. “That way you could tell them apart!”

So the blonde left, and came back a month later and said,
“Oh! Please! Can you help me again? Cutting the tails really worked but they’ve grown back! What am I to do now?”
“Why don’t you chop off one of their manes,” the barman replied. “That way you could tell them apart!”

So the blonde left, and came back a month later and said,
“Oh! Please! Can you help me one more time? Cutting the manes really worked but now they’ve grown back. What can I dow now?” She cried in despair and frustration.
“Okay then,” said the barman, who was beginning to get annoyed with the blonde. “Why don’t you measure them?”

So the blonde left and came back the next day.
“Oh thank you so much! Now I can tell my two ponies apart always! The white one is taller than the black one!”

A blonde calls her boyfriend at 5 in the afternoon. “I need help with this KILLER tiger puzzle, I’ve been working on it since this morning!” So the boyfriend goes to her house, looks at the puzzle pieces on the table, then the box, and sighed. Okay….First, no matter what we do to this it isn’t going to look ANYTHING like a tiger. Second, relax, de-stress….and third…..” The boyfriend now puts his head in his hand and sighs. “…help me clean up the damn frosted flakes.”