A MBA and a BE student go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep. Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend and says:”Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

The MBA replies, “I see millions of stars.” The BE asks, “What does that tell you?”
The MBA ponders for a minute..”Astronomically speaking,it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?”
The BE is silent for a moment, then speaks. “Practically. ..Someone has stolen our tent”.

A boy came home from school with his exam results. “What did you get?” asked his father. “My marks are under water,” said the boy. “What do you mean ‘under water’?” ” They are all below ‘C’ (sea) level!”

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: 1 year older then me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Police officer.
“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying for years.”

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything,including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny, what is the matter?” Little Johnny responded, “I have pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

Knock Knock?

Whos there?

Luke

Luke who??

Luke thru the key hole and u will see me

A man drove all night long. Upon arriving in a small community, he decided to stop in the local park and catch some shuteye. Just as he dozed off, there was a knock on the window. Outside the car, the man saw a jogger. “Excuse me, can you give me the time?”

“Yeah, it’s 6:27.”

The man settled back and was almost asleep when there was another knock on the window. Another jogger. “I’m sorry to disturb you. Do you have the time?”

“Yeah. It’s 6:34.”

The man rolled up the window and realized this could go on indefinitely. So he took paper and pen and made a sign which read: “I DO NOT KNOW THE TIME”.He stuck the sign in the window and again nestled himself back in the seat.
Then… yet another tap on the window. The man looked and sure enough, another jogger.
He disgustedly rolled down the window and said, “Yeah, what is it?”

The jogger replied, “It’s 6:42.”

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist.While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.

However, the atheist’s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas the pious man’s job was strenuous and
his wages were low, his wife was cheating on him and his kids wouldn’t give him the time of the day.

So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked: “Oh God, I honor you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my
every sin. Yet my neighbor, who doesn’t even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity.
Why is this?” And a great voice was heard from above …

“BECAUSE HE DOESN’T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!”

A guy lookin for a work!!!
The manager asks: You drink?
The guy: No sir,
The manager: You smoke?
The guy: no no sir!
The manager: Any weak points u have , to share, before getting into ur job?
The guy: Lie sometimes!!

Four Ants are moving through a forest.They  see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

Ant 1 says : we should  KILL him.
Ant  2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.

Ant 3 says : No, we  will just  throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE  him because  he is ALONE and we are FOUR.