A Lady visited A Bar for the First Time, She Sat on the Table in Front of the Bar Tender..

A Guy at Her Left ordered: “Jack Daniels, Single”

A Guy at Her Right ordered: “Johnny Walker, Single”

The Bar Tender Looked at the Lady & said: And You..??

Lady replied: “Monika Deshpande, Married..!!”

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . .
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Doctor: “What happened?”
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Woman:” Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp….”
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Doctor:”I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it…. Just gargle and gargle”.
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2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.
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. Woman:” Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never touched me.
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Doctor: “You see how keeping your mouth shut helps.!

Little Johnny goes to the manager at convenience store and asked, “Is this store open all day, seven days a week, 365 days a year?”

“Yes,” the manager answered, puzzled at the question.

“Well, then,” he continued as he walked out, “why are there locks on the doors?”

One girl went to a electronic shop in anger and threw her new laptop on the desk at a person from
whom she bought.

She told the salesman that you have… cheated me. I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop..
Salesman : Madam, can you please try infront of me.
This is what She did,

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which she wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where she wanted to copy that file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

Salesman fainted….

Only 3 living beings are immune to cold:

1. Penguins
2. Polar bears
3. Females wearing sleeveless and backless dresses in marriages..

1. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

2. Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced,you can’t be promoted.

3. Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in and say nothing about the other.

4. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

5. There is never enough time to do it right the first time but there is always enough time to do it over.

Teacher : What happens when CarbOn MOnOxide reacts with 2 MOlecules Of IrOn??

Student : COFFEE !!

Teacher : HOW ??

Student : CO + 2Fe = COFFEE !!

Teacher Shocked Student Rocks !!

Little Johnny goes to the manager at convenience store and asked, “Is this store open all day, seven days a week, 365 days a year?”

“Yes,” the manager answered, puzzled at the question.

“Well, then,” he continued as he walked out, “why are there locks on the doors?”

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him £10 and that continues for a year. Suddenly the daily donation changes to £7. 50.

“Well,” the beggar thinks, “it’s still better than nothing.”

A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes £5.

“What’s going on now?” the beggar asks his donor. “First you give me £10 every day, then £7.50 and now only £5. What’s the problem?”

“Well,” the man says, “last year my eldest son went to university. It’s very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further.”

“And how many children do you have?” the beggar asks.

“Four,” the man replies.

“Well,” says the beggar, “I hope you don’t plan to educate them all at my expense.”

Two rednecks were sitting next to each other. One says to the other, “I have such a big farm I could climb in my truck, and it would take me two days to get across the whole farm!”

The other redneck turns back to him and replies, “My kid also used to have a truck like that!”