Funny Blonde – One Liners
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institute for higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said “Disneyland “Left”, so they turned around and went home.
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFO’s have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
A: Oh look, Daddy…Doughnut seeds.
Q: Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said concentrate.
Q: Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Q: How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
A: It has a stamp on it.
Q: Why can’t Blondes dial 911?
A: They can’t find the 11 on the phone!
Q: What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run, she’s got a grenade in her mouth!
Q: How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?
A: There is white-out all over the monitor.
Q: Why shouldn’t Blondes have coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said, “Oh look at the dead bird.” The Blonde looked skyward and said, “Where, where?”
Q: How do you drown a Blonde?
A: Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
Q: Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
Q: How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde’s eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Q: Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A: It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
Q: What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
A: They drowned in Spring Training.
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: “Look! They spelled MACY’S wrong!”
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her joke on Wednesday.
Q: What’s a blonde and a postage stamp got in common.
A: Lick Em, Stick Em, Send Em
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been on the computer?
A: There is tipex on the screen.
Q: How can you tell if she has been on again?
A: She has left cheese for the mouse.
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