4 Dangerous Weapons
4 dangerous weapons in the world bigger than nuclear bomb:
1. Wife’s Smile
2. Wife’s Tear
3. Wife’s Looks
And the most dangerous,
4. Wife’s Missed Call.!
Email This Post
Funny Marriage Jokes
Email This Post
Employee to his boss,
“Sir,Increase my salary, I got married recently.”
The boss replied,
“The Company cannot compensate for the accidents happened outside of the company.”
Email This Post
Husband, Wife and A Phone Call
Phone rings at night…
Husband: If its for me, then say I am not at home!
Wife (on phone): He is at home…
Husband (in anger): What the HELL??
Wife: SHUT UP, It was for ME!! ????
Email This Post
Never Underestimate the power of…
Never underestimate the power of three things;
1. Wife angry for a reason;
2. Wife angry without reason
and
3. Wife about to get angry & looking for a reason.
Email This Post
Look At that guy drinking and dancing
In a party..
Wife: Look At that guy drinking n dancing.!
Husband: Who’s he?
Wife: 10 years back he proposed me & I rejected him
Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating..:p
Email This Post
Husband Wife in Marriage
Wife ask –
why in all marriages girl sits on left side and
boy on right side?
Husband replies –
According to profit and loss statement a/c all
income is on right side and expenses are on left
side”…..
Happy march ending.
Read more: http://www.jokofy.com/jokes/english-jokes/#ixzz3Xb1Nz2Qm
Email This Post
4 Stages of Marriage
4 Stages of marriage:
1. Mad for each other….
2. Made for each other….
3. Mad at each other….
4. Mad bcoz of each other…
Email This Post
Before Marriage And After Marriage
Before Marriage:-
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she: Do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: Do you love me ?
He: Ofcourse! over n over!
She: Have u ever cheated on me?
He: No!y r u even asking?
She: will u go on wid me on picnic?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will u hit me ?
He: R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust u?
He: Yes..
She: Darling!
After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top
Email This Post
Things In Boy’s Room Before Marriage
Things in Boys’ room Before marriage:
Perfumes
Love letters
Laptops
Cards
N95
After marriage:
Pain killers
Loan papers
Unpaid bills
Nokia 1202!
Email This Post
What are you searching for?
One man was searching for something in his safe for hours.
Wife : What are you searching for?
Husband : I give up. I was searching for our marriage papers.
Wife : But why?
Husband : I was searching for the expiry dates!!!
Email This Post
To all Married ones:
Always carry a picture of your wife in your wallet. It will remind you of why there is no money in there………….
Email This Post
What Are You Watching?
A Man Was Watching A Movie At Home And Suddenly Shouts “Nooooooooooooo!” Don’t!!!!!!
.
.
. .
Get Off The Horse!
Its A Trap!!
.
.
. .
Wife: What Are You Watching?
Man: Our Wedding DVD….
Email This Post
Marriage Definitions You Wished You Knew Before
Marriage is – An event which is called “tying the knot” – unfortunately, the knot can be a noose.
Marriage is – A word which always means commitment – but so does insanity.
Marriage is – The joining of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them.
Marriage is – The only legal method of suppressing freedom of speech.
Marriage is – A status which depends upon two to be successful but only one to turn into a failure.
Marriage is – A condition where no wife gets what she expected, and no husband expected what he was getting.
Email This Post
Groom With Golf Clubs
The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said, “What are your golf clubs doing here?”
He looked her right in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?”
Email This Post
Actor’s Marriage
An aspiring young actor asked a young lady’s father if he could have his daughter’s hand in marriage. The father said: “I would never let my daughter marry an actor.”
The actor said: “Sir, I think you may change your mind if you see me perform. Won’t you at least come and see the play?”
So, the father went to see the play, and the next day he called the actor: “You were right. I did change my mind. Go ahead and marry my daughter. You’re no actor.”
Email This Post
Guardian Angel
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, “If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted, “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.”
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. “Who are you?”
“I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.
“Oh, yeah?” the man exclaimed “And where the hell were you when I got married?”
Email This Post
Successful Marriage
A successful marriage is based On give & take:
Where husband gives money,Gifts, dresses n wife takes it
Where wife gives advices, lectures,Tensions & husband takes it..!!
Email This Post
Where do you want to go for our Anniversary?
A husband and wife were sitting and taking about their upcoming marriage anniversary. Husband asks her wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
Wife – “Somewhere I have never been!”
Husband – “How about the kitchen?”
Email This Post
Communicate Your Feelings
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, want to play house?”
He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”
The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your feelings.”
“Communicate my feelings?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what that means.”
The little girl smirks and says, “Perfect. You can be the husband then.”
Email This Post
Wife’s Birthday
It’s my wife’s 30th birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
“Oh, I don’t know, she said . Just give me something with diamonds.”
That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.
Email This Post